Tidy "Wild Wild West " Weekender 8
@ Pontins Holiday Camp, Prestatyn
7, 8, 9 October 2005

Hoedown for the Harder Generation !

It is that time of year again where Tidy engulfs a small, remote Welsh holiday park to play host to one of the best clubbing events ever created! This time we say “Yeehaa” and “Stick em' up cowboy” as the theme for Tidy Weekender 8 takes on a Wild Wild West theme.

Arriving at the gate after a long but excitable journey, we make it through the vigorous checks and book into our chalet. The cowboy theme is in full swing and cowboy hats can be seen for miles across the VIP quadrangle. For those of you who have not yet experienced one of Tidy's notorious weekenders, let me take you on a brief tour of the holiday camp that provides the setting for this great event: Three Arena's make up the party area, surrounded by shops, a local pub and eateries. A short walk from the arenas are the chalet blocks, closet the VIP rooms, then the standard chalets a little further back. This is a clubbers world that for this weekend only, becomes a non stop party-goers paradise!

Yeeeha shouts a cybered-up cowgirl as she walks into the main arena. The cowboy theme has been a success, and apart from having to leave our toy guns at the door, it appears that everyone has made the effort to make this hoedown rocking! After a brief trancey start, the music quickly picks up and in true weekender style the Tidy Boys appear on stage spectacularly. Wild Western style music fills the speakers and Amadeus fires fake shots into Andy Pickles in a comedy cowboy shot-out. This is highly entertaining, but made even funnier as Tidy Darren interrupts this scene bursting onto stage dancing to the sound of YMCA! The whole crowd cheers and as the Boys quickly find their places behind the decks getting the party into full swing as they play a great selection of hard dance classics including Vinyl Groover' new remix of K90's “Red snapper”

The Tidy Boys performance draws to a close, and we make our way into the “Rocking Rodeo” to get our front of stage spot for clublands young gun, Andy Whitby . The second arena is accessible through the Arcade , and as we wander along we are surrounded by cow print fluffy boots and Lone Ranger outfits. The Wild Wild West of Prestatyn is colourful and bright and it seems all the cyber outlaws are out to cause mayhem on this first night! Opening his set with his own remix of “Set you free”, the crowd are soon reassured that deciding to miss Rob Tissera's set for this one was a good decision. Whitby certainly gets this Rodeo rocking and as the dazzling lasers fill the room with their immense beams over the bouncing crowd. Winding down his set Andy slowly brings the wild west kids back down to earth and after his whirlwind set we make our way back to our chalet for a well earned rest in preparation for the next night.

The rainy weather sets in for the day on Saturday, however this does not dampen any of the weekender goers spirits and as we make our way to the Tidy Store for some Organ Donors magic scratching, we pass chalets full of people partying to their own music. It seems that everyone is a Dj here and the party never ends! The Tidy Store is jammed pack with Tidy Cowboys and Tidy Cowgirls all eagerly listening to Matt as he shows off his scratching skills. This short master class is very popular, and the Donors impress the crowd as they work the decks, demonstrating the best in Scratching ability! This fully prepares us for the delights that the second night of the weekender has in store for us, and with a line up tonight consisting of Kutski, Lisa Pin-UP and of course the Organ Donors what more could we ask for, so we head back to the chalet and don our glad rags for another night of partying.

Back into the main room we make our way, after a short shower and change of outfit. The High and Mighty's are to play tonight, and who better to start the night off than the scratching hard dance duo, the Organ Donors, who have already amazed us once already. The dress code is slightly less cowboy orientated tonight, instead the traditional cyber wear / try hard fashion engulfs the club and a sea of neon fluffy boots and bikinis can be seen. The Organ Donors play an outstanding set, banging out some quality hard trance to get us going early on including their own new tune “Turntabalism”. The crowd stomps away hard and a huge cheer is heard as they play out their last tune – we say thank you to the Donors for a great set, and a perfect set up for Radio 1's secret weapon of hard dance – Kutski.

The main arena is full to the brim and as Kutski flows straight into his own personalised tribute of John Peel intro, we find the dancefloor suddenly fills immensely. Kutski is becoming one of the most talked about dj's on the circuit, and during his set it becomes obvious why. As he drops random tunes over hard dance classics (who could have ever imagined you would hear the Thomas the Tank Engine theme tune in a club!), Kutski stands back proud as he sees the great party atmosphere he has created. This is by far the best set of the whole weekender, and I would suggest that those of you who have not seen this rising star should get to their nearest club and watch this Dj play – he is incredible! Finishing his set with the original version of the Eurhythmics “Sweet Dreams”, we cheer in ore of this genius, and then make our way to the magnificent second arena for a brief rest. Resting, however is not something you can do well at a weekender, and as we enter the second room we are greeted by Lisa Pin up and her crazy bouncy hard house tunes. Lisa plays a hard fun set of new and old classics, one of which seemed to go down particularly well, her own new tune “Lover”. This finishes the night off on a complete high and keeps us excitable and eager for the final night of madness.

Day three of the Wild Wild West weekender has a more chilled out feel to it. The Tidy Boys entertain clubbers in the second arena with their Unplanned talk show followed by their rendition of Anne Robinsons “Weakest Link”. This is all highly entertaining and very rewarding for the couple of clubbers who win a free chalet for the next weekender as a prize for winning the harsh game show! The evening follows on fast, and after being disappointed by Radio 1's Dave Pearce's no show in the Queen Vic, we are soon made happy again by Lee Haslams set in the Texan Trance second arena. Playing our last great memorable tune of the weekend Gouryella's “Wal Hala” Haslam shows he still is Tidys best trance Dj!

The weekender draws to a close and all that can be said is “Yeehaa” and thank you to the Tidy Cowboys and CowGirls who have made this yet another weekender that will stay in our memories for ever.

Caroline Greatwood

Tidy "Dirty" Weekender 7
@ Pontins Holiday Camp, Prestatyn
11, 12, 13 March 2005

The first weekender of the year landed on March the 11 th , held at the infamous Pontin's holiday camp in Prestatyn, North Wales .

Weekender 7 kicked off for us early afternoon after a six-hour journey, which consisted of about five stops to most of the KFC's and motorway conveniences. We arrived to the gates highly charged with a Paul Glazby CD, fuelling me and my over excited mates. We were greeted by friendly staff ushering us into the camp, passing two large tents where people and their vehicles were being searched. After collecting the keys we rushed to the chalet and instead of unpacking we got our priorities straight and set up the decks!

FRIDAY

The anticipation was getting greater around the site as the hours rolled on with clubbers consuming large amounts of alcohol in the onsite pub; The Queen Vic. On the way to the pub we passed the next ‘future hero's' pumping out the latest tunes from their postage stamp sized chalets – everyone was ‘well up for it'!

This weekender was themed on it being dirty and it certainly lived up to it. About 150 mental clubbers, dressed in sexy and outrageous clothing, welcomed us. Everyone had made an effort to look glam. The queue consisted of anything from pimps to gimps.

As we entered the venue we were greeted by a hot tub with, scantily clad playboy model, Fi Stevens in. This certainly got everyone's blood rushing.

As we walked into the main arena the place was slowly becoming intense, with the sounds from Shaun M, followed by Matt Hardwick playing a great Trance set, he managed to get everyone in a pre-frenzy by slapping on ‘Cosmic Freefall'. He had the crowd reaching for the lasers. The tension in the audience was getting greater as most were waiting to see the legend that is Fergie.

Fergie arrived onto the wheels of steel and played a great set. Unfortunately Billy Nasty was on at the same time in the second room but I took the decision to stay and watch Fergie. He was blinding; each tune just got better and better. We knew this was the shape of things to come.

In true Tidy style the Tidy Boys arrived in all their glory with several large explosions and a cloud of smoke; they looked like they had just stepped out of a dodgy porno! Dressed in full PVC and knee high boots, Amo looked very similar to Daffyd from Little Britain! It certainly put a smile on most faces. The place went absolutely crazy when their first tune ‘Wizards of the Sonic' got their set rolling.

Arena 2 (The Pleasure Dome) saw the great mixologist Nick Sentience along with Amber D, Tara Reynolds and Ben Stevens who all did a magnificent job of getting the crowd into an excited rush.

Whilst ducking and diving between the two arenas, I thought I would pop into the third arena for some funky ass shaking! On the decks were the Trophy Twins playing some great classics, we all enjoyed the smooth sounds from the twins Mark and Adam.

It was time to see the scratch master Eddie Halliwell do his stuff. We arrived into a room full of nutters' craving to see Mr Halliwell's skills. You could tell the place was going to go mental…….and it did!! He played up to date stuff as well as a few classics; it certainly was a well-constructed set. Chopping up “bits and pieces” with the hecticness of Glazby's “Hostile” he had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. Lee Haslam followed by playing a stonkin' hard trance set; you could see the strain in the crowd to keep going but we all managed it!

SATURDAY

As the early morning rolled into the afternoon the gang was already, very much up for, the forthcoming night of antics. After trying to recreate the sets from the previous evening in our own chalets, it was time to put down the headphones and make a move over to the camps watering hole. Other events were being held through out the day such as a football tournament and “Blind Date”. We decided to keep it fairly low key and spent the day in the pub with the occasional sketch around the Tidy shop.

The evening had arrived! After a few shandy's we were prepared to take on the sights and sounds of arena one. We were hit with the smell of Amyl Nitrate and some pure euphoria thanks to K90; who got us going for the lovely Anne Savage, which unfortunately clashed with Guyver but me being me, the dedicated clubber that I am, I managed to fit them both in within the hour, even getting to see a bit of Hixxy in the third arena. Hixxy certainly pulled in the crowd, the place was rammed!

Rob Tissera set the scene in arena one playing a driving set, getting everyone's musical taste buds salivating for more. He definitely got the crowd worked up by playing his new release ‘Feel the drums' and K8's ‘Sanctuary' (which I think is one of the best re-working's this year). This hit the nail right on the head! Dark by Design seemed to be thrashing up a Hardstyle storm in arena two. His name definitely speaks for itself.

The Tidy Boys had toned down their dress for the evening but not their music. Yet again in true Tidy Boys fashion they rocked the place by using a few of the old Tidy classics such as ‘The Dawn', ‘Heavens Cry' and Y2K's Breather ‘Come On' combined with a load of their latest tracks. The place went wild!

The time had come for the up and coming talents of JP and Juksey who have definitely brought the ‘hard' back into ‘hard house'. These guys did not let up; each tune just seemed to be getting harder and harder. These lads were excellent! Following on from JP and Juksey was the technical whiz kid Andy Whitby. His ability had everyone blown away. He dropped in to his set, crazy effects, acappellas and his overall mixing skills had pretty much every budding DJ drooling by the end of his play. Another awesome night had by all!

SUNDAY

After a few hours of well-deserved sleep I was ready to take on another day of extremeness. We again headed over to the Queen Vic for a bit of a topping up. The Queen Vic was playing host to a gallery of top Hard Dance DJ's with a signing session for clubbers wanting to meet their idols. There was a queue stretching out of the main entrance and around the side of the building. I decided to give it a miss and headed straight to the bar. We ended up sitting down and reminiscing about which events and DJ's we had been to and seen in the past, with Lashes only sitting about two meters away it was already becoming a good day! After a few hours we headed back to the chalet for a few more drinks and to tart ourselves up for the finale.

We all met up in arena one, where we had the talented Paul Maddox doing a live set. Unfortunately for Paul he had a power cut towards the end of his performance. Back over to arena two to see Lee Haslem who certainly brought back a few memories for me and most others with his classic trance set. Playing anthems like ‘Yeke Yeke' and ‘Binary Finary 1999', he definitely satisfied everyone's needs. The queen of Hard House Lisa Lashes was up after Lee Haslem in the main arena. She started her set hard and fast with ‘DJ Issacs' reworking of Michael Jacksons ‘Thriller'. Everyone's hands went straight up in to the air with their mouths miming to this wicked tune. As always, Miss Lashes knows which buttons to press to get everyone going!

Paul Glazby was up after the queen. All eyes were on this man to complete the weekend in style. Fergie was dipping into his ‘Trade' box in room two, but I'm afraid I couldn't be dragged away from this northerner creating a storm on the dance floor in arena one. Glazby was knocking them out left, right and centre, playing ‘Kick It' and ‘Are You All Ready'. You could practically see smoke coming off the clubbers' feet! The night came to an end with about four “one mores” with Andy Pickles and a very drunk Amo thanking the team and clubbers for their support. A few lucky clubbers were able to stay on with the team and DJ's for their after party, but for the rest of us we headed on back to our chalets to party for the last time and to try and think about getting back to reality.

MONDAY

Monday morning arrived very quickly! It was now time to think about the savage six-hour drive home and to try and get our chalets back in some sort of order.

One word to sum up the weekend…… Awesome!

Thanks to all my mates (Pilch, Mozza, Debs, Kate, John, Alex, Lee and Cassy) for making it one to remember.

Nick Langley